What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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