I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize