how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize