I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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