How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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