i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle