No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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