Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
