his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
