Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is