Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
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We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
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I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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