That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
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But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I think your dad took our porno
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
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