Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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