when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon