He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.