I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
19 Movie Extras Reveal What It’s Like To Work With Celebrities
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition