he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
