idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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