We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I forgot wine drunk hurts
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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