Three words: puerto rican gang bang
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
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