just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize