having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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