Only a mothe r could love this liver
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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