who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
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theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
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On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
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