dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
