Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
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She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
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I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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