using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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