Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
He did a backflip because drugs
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