I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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