Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
And my parents said I crawled through the house
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
