do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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