just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Redeem this text for a blowjob
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine