There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday