Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception