we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE