Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
