please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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