I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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