I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
im holly from the hills drunk
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
