Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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