ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize