i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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