i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
