Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
porn star boner night. come get it.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Less talking, more tequila
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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