Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize