it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
