I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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