You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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