he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
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I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
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If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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