my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
