you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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