areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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