You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize