I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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