Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
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She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
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How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize