I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize